Did you feel that tremor last week? The lighting, the rolls of thunder, the shifting of the earth under your feet? Two of my favorite subjects – Elizabeth Gilbert and home schooling – collided Friday when my husband brought home the local newspaper.

I was writing a blog post about why I home school. Husband handed me the paper with Gilbert on the cover. I read the story, I looked at the picture. I laughed. I read it again. I almost made a puddle on the kitchen floor.

Eat, Pray, Love author Gilbert gave a demon statue to a local school!?! O, the blog fodder! What a gift! Can you just see me rubbing my hands together in glee? Bwaahaahaa. Blogging is fun, but this was almost too much.

Are you ready for this? Here we go, let’s start with the facts-

Elizabeth Gilbert donates demon statue to local elementary school

According to the Delaware Valley News, Gilbert and her business partner presented Frenchtown Elementary School with an 8-foot high Balinese demon when they visited the school to talk about life in Indonesia. A contest to name the huge foam monster will be held in the fall, according to the paper. (Gilbert owns and operates a store in Frenchtown of south east Asian imports; it’s across the street from the school).

I’m sorry I don’t have a picture. I tried scanning it, but it came out poorly. Trust me when I say this demon statue is truly ugly: a screaming red-yellow striped face, wide mouth open with dagger teeth, arms getting ready to snatch, with one big foot raised to squish a student.

So, those are the facts as presented by reporter. Now to the topic at hand: why I home school. I’ll get back to Gilbert’s demon in a minute.

Why I home school

These are my three main reasons:

• To be the strongest influence on my kids. Me, their mom. Not their peers, not some unknown stranger year after year I don’t know personally. This is a biggy for me. My husband and I want our children to know us, to come to us for advice, to feel part of a team. Home education is the best way to accomplish this goal.
• To teach my children the Christian faith. We believe the most effective way to do that is though spending as much time with them as we can, talking about it, living it daily before them. Teaching my children goes hand-in-hand with being the greater influence in their lives.
• Because I can. For me, it’s a no-brainer, a logical choice. I have the freedom to home school, so I’m going to seize the opportunity. I guess I’m a bit of a rebel that way.

I’m not a home schooler to produce super spellers or math whiz kids. I’m not home schooling because I think the public school education is lousy. It’s not out of fear my children will be bullied or a gunman will attack the school. Public school (and Christian school too) is simply not the best choice.

Elizabeth Gilbert is why I home school

Okay, that’s an exaggeration. But I think you can see where I’m going with this.

As a Christian parent, I believe it’s my responsibility to protect my young ones. This demon statue is a good example of what kind of nonsense kids are exposed to under the guise of education. (I’m not going to get into whether demons exist; check out the New Testament gospels for stories about evil spirits and how Jesus dealt with them).

In this world, we battle against TV, movies, video games, the Internet, peer groups, magazines and other things to win our children, be the greater influence, to teach them the way to go. Why would I make it more difficult for myself by giving my children over to someone else?

I can think of no better task. Teaching my flesh and blood Truth and Beauty and how to live.

Final thoughts

To be clear – I don’t walk in fear. My kids go places without me, they have fun, they’re not locked away. We do watch SpongeBob and iCarly. Schools are not the devil.

We have public school friends, Christian school friends, friends that don’t believe like we do and friends that are even more radical than we are. We talk to our kids about other world views, we just don’t glorify them, treat them like silly creatures that can’t harm. And we sure as heck don’t make an 8 foot statue of it and give it a name. Good grief.

So, that’s why I home school. Comments and questions always welcome. A Stumble or a Kirtsy much appreciated.