Here it is the second week of Lent and I sense I’m doing it wrong. The guide I downloaded from Christine Sine’s Godspace blog keeps mentioning joint activities and discussions to do together as a group. I have no group. Admitting to that is hard and saddening.
I am a social person by nature. I enjoy parties, get-togethers, time to gather just to talk. It’s obvious to me that’s the way I was created. It’s disheartening to go this alone here physically. As for the sacrifice part of Lent, I’m fine (I’m still off Twitter and Facebook. Every so often, I miss those voices, but I haven’t given in to rejoin that constant chatter. I wonder how many others are using Lent as a time to block out social media?)
Driving in the car the other day, I mentioned to my husband I’d given up Facebook and Twitter until after Easter Sunday, specifically because of Lent . He was surprised. And I was surprised he was surprised. That’s when I felt the most disconnected; sad it’s just me.
But Lent is not a task to force on someone. In my husband’s defense, I didn’t ask him to participate with me, he being the logical one in my life to form a group, even if it’s just us. My kids are still too young and goofy – emphasis on the goofy – to fully understand what it means to sacrifice, examine, repent and pursue Jesus for 40 days.
My Lent will not be their Lent. I won’t force them to do the group activities, yet I long for the day when we can discuss these things together. (I wish I had thought to find another young family to connect with; maybe we could’ve done the lessons together, made it fun, and enjoyable. An idea for next year perhaps…)
I remember in college attending IVCF, loving small group, getting together to talk and share. Pray for each other. Discuss Scripture. Such good times! When our church was small, before we built the building we use now, we met in each others homes for Bible study Wednesday nights. I remember when our turn came to host, the excitement I felt. Everyone coming our little house for study and coffee! Now Wednesdays are in the building, but honestly I miss going into private homes.
I suspect that’s the setting Mrs. Sine imagined when she wrote of the group activities, like nailing sins to a wooden cross to visualize letting them go forever.
This week’s theme in A Journey into Wholeness is regarding hunger and poverty, but I’m learning something else instead: what my heart craves. A small group of intimate friends who gather in my living room for fellowship, Bible study – and dare I say – laughter? Oh, to have such a wonderful circle of friends!
Other posts on Lent:
I heard a rumor Lent starts Wednesday
Preface: I believe the American church over-emphasizes individual piety and “quiet time.” I also believe that those who are social and external processors should embrace their personalities and seek to grow in them (i.e. via the community).
Thoughts: Lent is a season of stripping and fasting. The liturgical calendar invites us to enter into Christ’s story (and the story of the Church, his body). During Lent, we join Christ’s withdrawal and fasting in the wilderness for forty days in preparation for his earthly ministry. It strikes me that perhaps this year, this is how God wants you to experience Lent. This is not to say this is how you have to experience it every year, but perhaps this season, God wants to teach you something specific.
It’s hard not feeling like you belong to a certain community that’s going through the same thing you are–I know this feeling intimately. And I’m not saying this is a “just you and God” thing. I’m saying that as you crave this fellowship, Bible study, and laughter, use that to enter into God’s desires and suffering.
Sorry. I didn’t mean to get preachy. Those were the thoughts going through my head as I read your post.
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thanks, Heather, I always appreciate your input. (I believe you’re on to something with that external processor label.)
I think I finally understand the true meaning of Lent. And this is only week 2, just think of all the wisdom I’ll have by Day 40.
I have a group of women like that in my life and it is a truly amazing bond that God uses often to nurture all of us and hold us accountable. I will b praying that you find that as well!
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Monica, I don’t think there’s a *wront* way to experience Lent; it’s a different journey every year because life has worked changes on us.
I do understand what you mean about the small group – even one or two – of friends who you can really talk to about your faith/spirituality/questions/doubts. It matters and I’m sad that it’s not there for you right now when you could use it.
As for kids and Lent, my oldest (2nd grade) is really working through her first Lent and trying to give up candy. I say trying because she’s forgotten a couple of times…then realizes it halfway through eating whatever treat she happened across.
Now, she is in Catholic school so not only does she get a great deal of talk about the “why” of Lent at home, she also get’s to talk about it in class with her teacher and friends. That definitely makes a difference.
My point is that your kids might be open to traveling some sort of Lenten journey – again, it’s not a pass/fail proposition (as I told my girl when she felt terrible about eating a gummy worm). It’s a chance to grow.
I’ll be your group!
Take care, friend.
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