Comments on: Truth in his eyes

By: Cindy

Cindy — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 17:10:24 +0000

I love this!!! 100% love it. I too did some damage to the relationship between my son and me. He went to private and public schools until 7th grade and that made him reluctant to learn anything in a school-like way (and who can blame him). Then I started homeschooling him and bought all the wonderful, no awful, curriculum and thought it would be really easy to just give him assignments, lecture, make him take notes, and do all the worksheets for that book and quizzes and tests. WRONG! I made him miserable and myself miserable and I really felt that I was being the worst mom around.

He didn’t like to read out of the Bible with me. He wouldn’t pray with me in the room (I used to give him advice on his prayers, what was I thinking?) We cried. I obsessed. I read a wonderful article that made so much sense to me about how kids shouldn’t be burdened under that much pressure.

So, now we don’t unschool, but I lean that way more and more all the time. We do relaxed schooling. Very little testing, very little paper work, and using different ways to learn things. I believe now that conversations can be a great way to learn without pressure or grades or someone always correcting the other person. I see tests as almost evil and in my mind they should only be done to show that a person has the knowledge to do the job they want to do. I don’t think kids should be tested at all. When I do give him a test, I try to remember to tell him that I am doing this to help him know what the system will expect.

I still haven’t figured it all out, but my son said something very smart:

“I like learning, I just don’t like school.”

By: Maria

Maria — Thu, 02 Jun 2011 17:51:35 +0000

I love this story–thanks so much for sharing

By: As I was saying… | Paper Bridges

As I was saying… | Paper Bridges — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 01:31:46 +0000

[...] biking, beachcombing, and swimming. For me, one of the highlights of the trip was listening to Peter – unprompted – read aloud. That was a memory to remember. It wasn’t much, just [...]

By: The birth of a writer | Paper Bridges

The birth of a writer | Paper Bridges — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 21:27:15 +0000

[...] came to be. This is a post about my eldest – whom I refer to as Susan. I’ve recorded my son’s reading journey and how I’ve come to let go of my expectations for him. Now I want to tell you about Susan. [...]

By: Alison Kerr

Alison Kerr — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 23:06:07 +0000

Congratulations on backing off. I know, from personal experience, that it is really hard to do. It truly teaches patience and you learn that you can’t force something on another person, least of all a child. I’m still learning it!

By: Vicki

Vicki — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 19:29:06 +0000

I’m just going to smile…..=)

You’re doing fine

By: Ruby in Montreal

Ruby in Montreal — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 15:55:40 +0000

That is cool! And so wonderful that you were able to realize what your son needed, despite all the internal and external pressures to “do school” a certain way.

Both my older girls have had similar troubles with language arts & math, and I know how hard it is to let go long enough to give them space. But the Mama heart does soar when you realize they’re reading for fun, or that they’ve figured out fractions for fun when all the teaching in the world wasn’t making it work two months ago!

Good on you both, for growing and loving.

Cheers!
Ruby
.-= Ruby in Montreal´s last blog ..The Carnival is Up!! =-.

By: Aimee

Aimee — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 15:18:56 +0000

I’m dealing with the same thing with my daughter. She’s a late reader, especially compared to my son. He read at 4. She is almost 7 and is just now getting it. I pushed a little too hard in the beginning too. I’m slowly learning how to sit back and let her learn at her own speed.

Your son sounds like a wonderful, inventive child! I love the idea for the trap!

By: Kakie Fitzsimmons

Kakie Fitzsimmons — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 04:23:57 +0000

Wow, what a wonderful and uplifting post. Sometimes I think parenting is teaching us how to let go so they can grow into their own. My son is almost 9. Isn’t it funny how often we are plowing ahead with our own agenda that we sometimes get reminders from them? Mine came in the way of an art carnival we were attending when my son said, “Why do we have to walk so fast” *bop me on the head.* “Oh yeah, I need to slow down and enjoy the ride trusting he will come into his own in Gods time.

How often is it about asking for guidance of when God is calling you to be the academic teacher and when you are being called to be a mom. He’s lucky to be your son, and you are blessed to be his mother. Best to you!
.-= Kakie Fitzsimmons´s last blog ..Hey parents, teachers and caregivers! GREAT ideas to get kids moving =-.

By: Olivia

Olivia — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 18:31:18 +0000

I’m about to start homeschooling my oldest, and since we often experience friction when I give a straight command, I am a little nervous. I found a great run-down of the different (basic) homeschool methods. It’s here: http://csthea.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/2009-quickstart-guide.pdf
It’s a very short read, and though I’ve heard about these different methods (and I’m sure you have too), it was nice to see them all explained succinctly in one place.
.-= Olivia´s last blog ..Magazines =-.

By: Cindy

Cindy — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 03:03:21 +0000

Wonderful post. I learned from my first child to let my second learn at his own pace. I was just telling my husband today that I’m not sure how Chris (#2) got to be such a good reader because I never really taught him. The secret was just as you said – when he was ready to learn to read, he set his mind to it and did it. I wish I could tell all moms of preschoolers who think they’ve got to have their kids in “school” to just lay off, don’t panic, have fun and let the kids choose the timing. Thanks!
.-= Cindy´s last blog ..The Great Conversation =-.

By: Monica Brand

Monica Brand — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 21:52:58 +0000

Yes! I’m NOT a patient person. Perhaps this is a spiritual discipline the Lord is teaching me via my boy. Hmmmm.

By: Marianne

Marianne — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 13:35:10 +0000

It’s so hard to be patient, isn’t it?

I think you’re doing just what you need to be doing; once that fire for reading is sparked, there will be NO stopping him.

You homeschooling mamas are a brave, brave bunch.
.-= Marianne´s last blog ..A Writer Divided =-.

By: Kris @ Weird, Unsocialized Homeschoolers

Kris @ Weird, Unsocialized Homeschoolers — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 17:37:11 +0000

Oh, I can so relate! I have a late-reader son and, had it not been for him having a late-reader older sister, I probably would have turned it into the battle that it was when his sister was younger. Thankfully, I learned with her (the poor guinea pig oldest) not to do so. Even so, it is a scary thing for an avid reading, avid writing, language-rich mama. It's so hard to sit back and allow our kids their own time and space sometimes. .-= Kris @ Weird, Unsocialized Homeschoolers´s last blog ..Homeschool Showcase #29 =-.

By: @peahdotcom

@peahdotcom — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 15:01:23 +0000

Wonderful, honest post; love it! I too, have made similar mistakes and kinda glad I’m not the only imperfect homeschooling mom! Thanks for sharing.
.-= @peahdotcom´s last blog ..Aug 10, Stress-free Math with ALEKS Online Homeschool Curriculum =-.

By: Monica Brand

Monica Brand — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 14:54:27 +0000

Mary, I’d love to hang at your house for the day! Such a wonderful life you all must enjoy with kids from around the world.

Kristen, thank YOU for letting me know it helped and encouraged. If I can point to a more gentle and loving way for home schooling moms to teach and guide their own, then it’s all worth it. Hugs to you as you also remember it’s the heart of the BOY not the pursuit of BOOKS that’s the reason we live this way.

By: owlhaven

owlhaven — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 14:29:30 +0000

Two of my kids arrived in America at age 9 and age 11, two years ago. They were excellent readers in Ethiopia but are just now starting to get better at reading in English. Thanks for the reminder to be patient…

Mary, mom to 10
.-= owlhaven´s last blog ..It must be August =-.

By: Kristen

Kristen — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 14:24:42 +0000

Oh thank you! My 7 year old son is still not reading beyond very simple phonics readers. He is so smart and knows so much. I've got to be careful to stay relaxed and not push too hard. My oldest son was reading at 4, but then I made the mistake of pushing too hard with his schoolwork. So much that he really dislikes schoolwork. All in the name of making sure he was "challenged". Sigh. .-= Kristen´s last blog ..Hank the Cowdog =-.