My 11 year old daughter, you know her as Susan here on the blog, challenged me to post this question to Facebook, but I decided to cast the info-gathering net wider. So I ask you, blog readers:
Do you have your 11 year old girl clean the bathroom once a week like I do? Clean as in: scrub and wipe down toilet. Wipe down counter and sink. Clean mirror if necessary.
When I was Susan’s age, my sister and I had to dust the dining room furniture every Saturday. With polish. Even if we weren’t having fancy company that required use of the table. Friends, I HATED dusting that table. So many nooks in the woodwork. I truly believe I’ve been scared for life as a result. My husband can attest to my great aversion to dusting the house today. At least Susan is cleaning something that is much more worthy of a good cleaning.
Come on, let me have it. Am I an old meanie or is Susan getting off easy? I’m open to all criticism and advice.
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Twitter: cowpunkmom
Mean? You aren’t even half mean enough! If she thinks cleaning the bathroom is mean (which she has no problem using the rest of the week), perhaps you should also get her to mop floors, empty garbages, do yard work…etc.
If we complained about a chore, Mom gave us more. End of story.
Here’s how I look at it. One day, our children will no longer be living with us. They may be on their own, they may be living with room-mates, they may eventually get married. It would be mean NOT to help them realize how much work it is to run a home.
Twitter: monicabrand
Yeah, I’m thinking I’m too easy. I want to add in more chores so by the time she leaves home, running a house isn’t a bit deal. Plus there is value in work, right?
I think an 11 year old is plenty capable enough to clean the bathroom. And I don’t think it is too much. I was cleaning the whole bathroom (tub included) at that age. And my dad would come through after and literally do the white glove test to see if it was clean to his standards. I survived that so I believe your daughter will too.
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Twitter: monicabrand
awesome, Ashley. thanks for the help!
Great topic! I’m working on figuring out what to expect from my 5 and 7 year olds also.
.-= Sarah´s last blog ..The Liver and Gallbladder Miracle Cleanse- Andreas Moritz =-.
Mt girls are too little, but by 11, I would change my own sheets too. By 12/13, I was doing 2hrs of work each week (unpaid) to get used to the concept.
Nah, not too mean. If Susan is comparing herself (and you), it is with a small group and is not representative of the wider world!
Oh, and cleaning the fridge — is she doing that too?
Twitter: hmariey
Hmmm. When I was that age I did dishes nightly, dusted weekly, cleaned my own bathroom (we had 3), change cat-litter, take out garbage, and was expected to red-up constantly.
We have a different plan with our kids. We want each to be able to do all the jobs in the house by the time they move out and since we are all home all the time we need daily help to keep the house in order. We have a 10 minute clean-up per day (each child does 10 minutes cleaning as fast and as well as they can doing whatever they see that needs done–no big stuff, when the timer dings they are finished.) This keeps the house from falling to bits and helps them learn all the jobs (I usually mention some things that need done and they have already learned all the steps to do each). Then, usually on Monday, we do a 1 hr cleanup where I set the timer and each person chooses to tackle whatever needs done. It usually happens that my 12 yr old scrubs down the entire kitchen, loading dishwasher, washing extra dishes by hand, cleaning out fridge, sweeping, wiping everything down, and mopping. The other two (ages 10 and
prefer to work together and usually scrub down the bathroom completely then red-up the living room, sweeping and dusting if they have time. Other days 2 of them– usually the oldest and youngest will choose to do all the laundry and hang it out while the middle child prefers putting away all the books (we have a lot that get strewn). And still other days the oldest will decide she prefers some exercise and sun and goes and mows our rather large lawn. I usually take up the slack while they are working, or will go over what didn’t get done when they finish. Also, when they want to earn money,I have step by step lists (they get paid per step, in order– if they miss one then they don’t receive payment except for the ones they did in order). The charts explain exactly how many cents they get per step which is nice because my oldest LOVES to argue about whether a certain step was necessary or conveniently forget to do it and I HATE arguing about things.
.-= Heather Young´s last blog ..Art Class =-.
Twitter: cowpunkmom
Have to add this: boys need to learn the same skills. Sons, too, not just daughters.
Twitter: ajoyfulmom
My 11 year old empties the dishwasher every other day, she sweeps the dining room, the scoops the litter box, and makes her bed/keeps her room picked up.
Personally, I think she needs to do some more, but its not something we’ve changed yet. Cleaning a bathroom once a week seems to me like a fairly easy thing.
.-= Laura´s last blog ..New Paths =-.
My boys are ages 9,11, 12, and 14 next week. For the past two years they have had the primary responsibility for the kitchen, public areas, and their own rooms. On a day-to-day basis? Some of the details I see when cleaning are missed by them. But they each know the basics of the jobs that need to be done.
They do wipe down their bathroom as well. Though, honestly, I go behind them and do a more thorough job if we’re having company. (They still miss the base of the toilet, etc.) Similarly, corners and some surfaces in the kitchen they seem blind to. But, it’s a trade off. . . I hardly ever do dishes and I can’t remember the last time I vaccumed or mopped (my hated jobs.)
In the big picture, I believe that eventually I need to go over with them the DETAILS of the jobs. . . how to do it well. (As, it seems, you’ve already taught your daughter.) But right now my focus is having them all chip in and have the habits of keeping things at a decent, livable, semi-clean, semi-decluttered level.
I hate to say but Susie sounds awful lucky. My sisters and I had to help cook and do the dishes after every meal. We also had daily chores that were our ‘area’. For example one year I was on garbage duty, so I had to make sure the garbage was always out, bins out on collection day, etc. Other areas were bathroom (daily once over, weekly clean) or sweeping / vaccuming the house, etc.
.-= Amy´s last blog ..Review- Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives by Josie Brown Giveaway =-.
Hello, there, sis! As many have said, our job is to raise responsible people who will eventually fully function in the world. Learning how to clean and maintain a house is all part of it. Needs to be age appropriate. The dishwasher gets unloaded almost 100% by kids; shorter ones do silverware. Now, I am slowly getting them to rinse their dishes and load in the dishwasher – ongoing…
Younger ones empty all small garbage cans and rebag on garbage day. Older ones know how to scrub toilets, clean counters and wipe mirrors. (Younger ones practice on TV and windows). To teach AND reinforce, I spend a lot of time in the rooms with them, showing how, telling stories, etc.
1 & 2 know how to sweep floors, vacuum AND are reluctantly learning how to empty the canister and clean the filters. All 4 help fold laundry. Almost all know how to load dryer and start it. #2 fully knows how to wash normal laundry. All 4 help unload and put away groceries. #2 mows the lawn on a regular basis, because she wants to.
Aside from the dishwasher, making their beds, and helping w/ the groceries, NONE of the above are regular “jobs” for them – they do have school and sports and a social life, after all.
Nevertheless, as time goes on, they will learn how to master these things – I consider it part of MY job as a parent.
Twitter: reallifesarah
Oh, no, you’re not mean! I have my 7 year old making the lunch sandwiches, by 4 year old helps me unload the dishwasher and put silverware away, my 9 year old I’m going to start on the laundry this year- AND cleaning the kids’ bathroom. I think it’s good to have them chip in at whatever level they can at their ages!
BTW, I still hate dusting too. Maybe I’ll pass that off to one of them, too!
.-= Real Life Sarah´s last blog ..Back on the Weight Watchers Wagon with Subway giveaway =-.
If she does not like cleaning the bathroom, try giving her a different option that takes longer to do (or has to be done more than once a week) instead. Then if she chooses it, you can do the bathroom and have a little more time for yourself while she does the more time consuming work that she chose. But if that doesn’t work for you guys, then no you’re not being mean.
.-= Teresa Dawn´s last blog ..Listen to the Crowd =-.
I love your blog! I just found it for the first time by following a couple of links from another favorite blog. I just had to weigh in on the chore thing. I have 3 boys (11, 9 and 1 1/2 years old), and we are ALL about working together to make this home and homeschool run smoothly.
Each morning, my 11 yo makes his bed, cleans the floor of his room, gathers eggs, waters chickens and dog, folds and puts away a load of laundry, cleans baseboards in one room, tidies and sweeps the mudroom, cleans MY bathroom (sink, toilet and mirror): meanwhile his 9 yo brother makes his bed, tidies all surfaces in his room, feeds chickens and dog, unloads dishwasher, tidies school area, cleans kids’ bathroom, makes MY bed (yep!), empties both bathroom garbages and wipes down windowsills in one room of the house. (Are you dialing child protective services yet LOL?)
The baby just toodles around watching his brothers work… for now, anyway. They get up at 6:00 and are finished with the above chores by 7:35. Then we have breakfast and begin the day. This routine starts our day out with a clean house while teaching the boys valuable skills and giving them a sense of ownership of our home.
They are also great at cleaning cabinet faces and doors, cleaning out and vacuuming the car, cleaning the chicken house weekly (they take turns each week), planting, watering, and harvesting the garden, making and cleaning up meals, trimming weeds with the weed-eater, unloading the car and putting away groceries, helping out with the little one, sweeping indoors and out, and a variety of other tasks I periodically ask them to do as needed.
I always make sure they know they are appreciated and I am grateful for their help, but also that complaining or shirking is out of the question. We work together, learn together and play together as a family (they are not little princes, and I am not their maid LOL). My kids have learned to enjoy the work of their hands, and they take pride in doing a good job (though it was not always that way). That said, I certainly do not think you are asking too much of your daughter. You are teaching her a useful life skill while giving yourself more time to spend with her that you wouldn’t have if you had to clean the bathroom yourself.
Twitter: monicabrand
welcome, Stacey! glad you found me. I’m impressed with your boys, great job instructing them.