*cheeky grin*

All kidding aside, there is a bit of a debate afoot in the homeschool blogosphere about unschooling, especially if one is a Christian. As I happen to be a Christian (evangelical, pre-trib, Bible-is-all-that-and-a-bag-of-chips believer), and one who has embraced unschooling, I feel the need to stick my blog into the middle of the conversation/debate.

And I’ve entitled this piece, Confessions of a reluctant Christian unschooler because that’s exactly how I came to this educational philosophy. I never wanted to be an unschooler. I liked classical homeschooling. You should see my copy of The Well-Trained Mind. It’s dog eared and underlined with yellow highlighter.

With this post I want to tell you how I came to embrace unschooling as a Christian parent. This is not a rant against classical education; just my experiences as a homeschooling parent.

So. Are we cool?

Good. Let me tell you my story. . .

Homeschooling in the early years

I have a girl, Susan. She learned to read at about 6 years old. Susan loved her Latin studies. Sat still for grammar lessons. Produced beautiful copywork. This was a child who absorbed every Bible verse you could throw at her.

All was good perfect in my little homeschool.

I added my next pupil to the lineup. My boy, Peter.

Peter finished our phonics book, but didn’t start to read everything from cereal boxes to street signs like his older sister did. In fact, he hated the idea of Latin, cried over a simple grammar lesson. Copywork? No way. Learning Bible verses? It got done, but not at the rapid fire, human-sponge rate like Susan. He loved books as long as I was reading aloud to him.

Needless to say, all was not good in my little homeschool. In fact, if I wasn’t so stubborn, I might have pitched the idea of homeschooling him. But the Lord gave me an Irish heritage and I continued on with homeschooling, still clinging desperately to a traditional way of learning and teaching.

Peter would cry over attempting to read. I would get mad because I didn’t think he was trying hard enough. He would cry more because he still couldn’t read no matter how frustrated I got. We started the phonics book over again and I still couldn’t get this kid to read.

My classical homeschool in chaos thanks to my eight year old boy.

I did a lot of worrying back then. What was I doing wrong? Maybe I need a new, better phonics book? How can he advance to the next math book if he can’t remember multiplication tables? How will he take the SAT??

If it were possible to go back and re-do those years of mothering, I would jump at the chance.

I wish I hadn’t been so hard on him. I was so stubborn. So angry.

It took me years to let go of the idea that classical was The Best, the only way I would conduct a successful homeschool. (This post about Peter explains what pushed me over the edge to finally let go.)

Forgive me, Lord for that idolatry. May I never again uphold any educational philosophy as the bee’s knees.

And that prayer applies to unschooling too. Yes, I’m not a radical unschooler. (I’ve often said the only thing I want to be radical about is my faith in the Lord.)

Learning as unschoolers

I believe unschooling NOT to be the best way to learn for every child, nor the only way for a family to successfully homeschool. If I had a houseful of dutiful, early reading young ladies things might have been very different.

But unschooling sure did a world of good for my family – especially my boys.

Let me continue my story:

Next-in-line Edmund finished that same phonics book. Did he vault into reading? No. But an interesting thing happened.

At about the time he finished phonics, and I was mentally ready to unschool, my children found a gaming website for kids. The game has a chat feature. Edmund loved the game, but was intrigued with the written conservation scrolling by on the screen. The next thing I knew, Edmund could read the chat, then read everything else that crossed his path. He’s eight now and today he and his older sister disagreed on who would get to read a library book first.

Unschooling did that, not me. Sure, I taught him phonics, but I never asked him to read on his own. He found words and wanted to know what it said. The rest was all his motivation.

That’s the beauty of unschooling – a child motivated to learn because he wants to know.

Today. . .

As for Peter: he’s come a long way. It’s been awhile since I’ve written about his struggles to read. He’s eleven now.

Friends, you should hear him read from his own Bible.

Yes, my boy who gave me fits because he didn’t let me continue with classical homeschooling. The boy who forced me to reexamine why I homeschooled the way I did, the boy who set us all on a path of non-traditional learning – is reading!

Within the past few months, he’s been reading aloud to me again. It’s been years since I asked him to do that. As he reads, I correct mistakes; no more tears. Now it’s like he’s a different boy; I guess he is a different boy. He’s older, more mature. His brain is no longer the brain of a nine year old, but a more ready eleven year old.

Wow. What a difference!

I’m thankful that I found unschooling at a time when I didn’t see how I could continue to homeschool without it destroying my relationship with my boy.

Adding Susan, Edmund and Lucy to unschooling seemed the right way for all of us to go.

Today, this is what works for us.

We are all happier because of it.

***

What’s your flavor of homeschooling? Love unschooling? Swear by the classical method?

If you unschool, did you come to that decision easily or did you struggle letting go of what you thought your homeschool should be?

Add to the conversation in the comments below or link up your own blog post.

Confessions of a reluctant Christian unschooler is a post from: Paper Bridges, © 2005-2010 Monica Brand

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Here you go, Debra. Enjoy connecting with other homeschoolers in the Garden State.

Yahoo! groups for the New Jersey homeschooler

NJLoop

NJ_Homeschoolers

HomeschoolersCentralNJ

SkyHomeschoolers

NJ-Unschoolers

Note: This is not a complete list of New Jersey homeschooling groups on Yahoo!; I didn’t include any of the South Jersey groups. I’ll link to Hunterdon County Christian Homeschoolers for informational purposes, but unlike the groups above, HCCH requires parents sign a Statement of Faith and a yearly membership fee.

Yahoo! groups for the New Jersey homeschooler is a post from: Paper Bridges, © 2005-2010 Monica Brand

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Project FeederWatch Homeschool lesson plans

Enjoy! Let me know if you are participating.

Participate in Project FeederWatch is a post from: Paper Bridges, © 2005-2010 Monica Brand

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Can you hear the sadness as I type?

When I first began homeschooling officially, when my firstborn turned six, I already had a community of online support I visited frequently. You know how I love books. Using the Five in a Row guides for our early learning kept our days full of fun. We read, did the activities, tinkered with math and lived life. When I needed a mental break, sort of a “Mommy needs to check in with her girl friends”, I logged onto the FIAR message boards.

Don’t you just love message boards? Conversation not reduced to just 140 characters. You can lurk. You can comment. Laugh and cry  together. Lift each other up in prayer. Just the thing for a newbie homeschool mom who loves to talk and write.

After a few years, when I grew more confident in what I needed to concentrate on or ignore with our little “non-school at home”, I left behind FIAR. Reluctantly, I left the message boards too.

Housekeeping immediately improved.

Then I discovered blogging.

Housework again tossed aside to write, meet other homeschool, blogging moms. The blogosphere : joy!

By this time, I plugged into two local groups.  One a co-op with lots of kids, with moms actively engaged in getting the best learning opportunities for their children. The other is a support group for the Christian homeschooling family.

We didn’t last long at the co-op. The story of why is too long to tell in this post; perhaps sometime I will. As I sit here typing all of this I can see the faces of the lovely moms I felt a true kindred-spirit connection. I miss them. We talked when we met together. We had fellowship.

Now I think of this other group – the Christians-only group in which I currently serve on it’s leadership team – and it’s all frustration and disappointment. And I don’t like laying out criticism on the Internet to whine and complain about an all-volunteer organization, so I will keep this rant brief.

Oh, how I wish my homeschooling, Christian friends would be more flexible and took time for more mom-fellowship, pursued opportunities to get together just to talk and encourage each other. I’m so tired of asking these moms to gather together at a park on a beautiful day so our kids could be together, yet all I receive in return is silence.

Yes, I value my online community – all of you reading this blog, Twitter  – far more than the offline world that is nothing like I thought it would be when I began homeschooling six years ago.

It’s online where I know of other Christians learning the unschooling way.

It’s online where I can go with a tweet when I’m having a bad day to get an encouraging word to keep going.

It’s online where I can read the words of a mom just like me and not feel weird, alone or crazy for rejecting government schooling.

I continue to homeschool with the hope that I would find a local, sold-out-to-the-Lord family who doesn’t think textbooks are the only way to learn.

Maybe I need to join another message board.

This week The Homeschool Village is comparing notes on online communities. Write your own thoughts on your experiences with online communities and your homeschooling, then link up. Don’t forget to visit the other blogs participating.

Thoughts regarding online v. offline homeschool community is a post from: Paper Bridges, © 2005-2010 Monica Brand

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And we don’t have to travel far; only battle (oh, a history pun!) against the traffic.

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Reading The Kids are Alright by Welch, Welch, Welch and (care to guess?) Welch. Thanks to the publisher for my free copy.

Searching the vast empire of the Internet for the good, pretty and lovely by which my kids can learn; avoiding the vile, nasty and obnoxious which will teach them . . . nothing.

Nursing a sick boy, currently asleep on the couch while the other three continue on with their day. Boo on fall colds.

On this fall day is a post from: Paper Bridges, © 2005-2010 Monica Brand

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Welcome, Hip Homeschoolers, I’m glad you’re here.

If you have never been to my blog before, let me give you the five-second tour. I mostly write about books and reading. Books capturing my imagination, books that make me think, books that move me to action. Books I love. I also blog about the books my children read and the titles that find their way into our days.

I occasionally offer my opinion as to books I believe are better left on the shelf, rather than in your child’s hands. Hey, I’m a homeschool mom. We are known for our strong opinions, right?

My homeschooling posts are more informative (Look at this cool website!) rather than the mommy blogger fare (This is what we did today in our homeschool!) only because now that they are getting older, I want to protect their privacy.

My children are 12, 10, 8 and 5 years. We’ve been unschooling since May 2009. I cannot imagine any other way to live. The simplicity of our days, the freedom to do as we want – I would never trade it for the world. Homeschooling is a wonderful gift that I’m happy to share with my children.

When I do mention my children, it’s always as Susan, Peter, Edmund and Lucy. If I had known my husband and I would have two girls and two boys, I may just have really given them those names. (If you recognize where those names come from, then you and I are going to get along just fine.)

We work and play in the beautiful Garden State. I love coffee, Twitter and dream of owning a kayak.

Thanks for visiting. Leave a comment so I can visit your blog too.

Blog Hop for Hip Homeschoolers is a post from: Paper Bridges, © 2005-2010 Monica Brand

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Now that my children are getting older, I want to use the Internet more to our advantage. I have my Delicious bookmarks account that I’ve been using to hold sites I find for my children, but that always felt awkward to me. I didn’t want the kids to have to wade through my personal bookmarks to find what they needed. I thought of using email, but they don’t have email accounts yet. (Does my 8 year old need gmail? I’m going to go with No.) I thought of writing down the website addresses on scraps of paper, but that seemed too cumbersome.

Thankfully, I found a website that solves the problem.

At findingeducation.com, you set up a “classroom” to give “assignments” to your students/children. You can tag assignments by grade and subject and make “due by” dates. If you blog with WordPress, you will feel comfortable right from the start with how the site works. (I’m not sure it’s run on WordPress, but it looks eerily similar.) I’m not too keen on the labels (classroom, subjects or due dates), but since that’s the language of the rest of the world, those of us with a nontraditional approach to homeschooling will just have to ignore that part.

This is my findingeducation.com classroom. So far, I have one lesson posted for my baking-crazy preteen.

I’ll be posting links of educational interest for my kids; feel free to poke around my site. Let me know if you make a classroom too. There are no comments, which I love. No way for spammers to come and stalk my kids. There is a built-in search engine that looks promising.

I’ll let you know how how my kids respond to this virtual way of helping them pursue their interests and our learning at home.

Does any one else think the future has arrived?

New learning resource : FindingEducation.com is a post from: Paper Bridges, © 2005-2010 Monica Brand

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Madam looked down without seeing me; she looked at my face, my kerchief, my shift neatly tucked into my skirt, looked at my shoes pinching my feet, looked at my hands that were stronger than hers. She did not look into my eyes, did not see the lion inside. She did not see the me of me, the Isabel.

O, joy! A new literary heroine to love.

I’ve fallen for the spunky slave girl in Laurie Halse Anderson’s YA historical fiction book, Chains. Isabel is a fighter, despite that fact that she is a slave in 1776 America. She has nothing, yet she fights with a fierce determination within her. Like the patriots fighting around her to be free from a British king, Isabel is waging her own private war. Her goal: freedom from slavery.

I was never much for history as a subject in public school – I hated the memorization of dates and dull text books – but now as a homeschooling mom, I’m filling in the gaps of my own learning. I have much to learn about slavery and Revolutionary America. I’m happy to have Isabel teach me.

I picked up Chains for my 12-year-old, my girl who gobbles up books with an eager hunger for more. Susan has yet to let the Story in history capture her imagination. I’m hoping Isabel, a true-to-life, spunky girl will help my daughter discover there is more to history than just past truth that happened to now dead people.

I’m hoping historical fiction, like Chains, will be the gateway for my daughter to love learning history.

In the meantime, I wait for the sequel, due in October. And I’ll be looking for more books by Laurie Halse Anderson.

Isabel in Chains: learning with YA historical fiction is a post from: Paper Bridges, © 2005-2010 Monica Brand

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Let’s go to the Carnival of Homeschooling is a post from: Paper Bridges, © 2005-2010 Monica Brand

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As I have only had one cup of coffee so far, and stayed up too late shopping for groceries online, I have nothing else to add that sounds remotely intelligent. I’m going to be needing a nap today, yet in true unschoolish style, our day is busy, going tither and yon with dentist, picking up said groceries, library and 4H meeting. Perhaps I can sleep at the red traffic lights.

~ Monica

PS  RSS readers, come see what’s new in my sidebars. I’ve added other bling, working on adding more!

PSS  Can’t get button to stay centered. Makes me crazy.

Bling for the Unschooling Christian blogger is a post from: Paper Bridges, © 2005-2010 Monica Brand

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This is my last Cubbie to graduate from the AWANA program. When I look at this picture, I’m reminded of the blessing of having a godly young lady in my little girl’s life. This young lady is Leah, one of the loveliest teens I’ve witnessed working with little ones. Leah, you meant the world to my girl. You did an awesome job as an AWANA leader.  Every Cubbie should have a Leah serving, teaching, loving such as this young lady did. I know my girl loved AWANA because of the games, crafts, Bible stories and snacks, but she made it beautiful. Thank you, Leah.

Shutting up now, because I’m starting to cry.

Play along with the A B See Photo Meme. All the information can be found at the Homeschool Post. See you next Saturday with a B picture. B is for. . . boys. . . books. . . hmmmm, how to decide between the two?

A B See Photo Meme with the Homeschool Post is a post from: Paper Bridges, © 2005-2010 Monica Brand

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Ringing Rocks is one of those places I have tucked away in my heart as extra special. Doc popped the question there 13 Junes ago as I sat on one of the large rocks near the waterfall. He was nervous. Silly man, I thought at the time. Why is he nervous? Doesn’t he know how crazy in love with him I am?

All these years of living later and I’m having a hard time remembering exactly which rock I rested upon. The romantic in me wants to remember the spot. Why didn’t I mark it somehow? Because it never occurred to me the memories would fade over time.

Here are a few pictures:

Climbing on the rocks in the wrong type of shoe:

The waterfall:

I’m not 100% sure, but I think this is The Rock of Romance (aka Where I sat to say “Yes, of course.” ) :

I don’t have much else to add other than it was a pleasant, cool-ish day. A good day for a day hike and to revisit a memory with my kids. My friend Jill has more pictures and video of why it’s called ringing rocks and screaming girls catching a frog. Very fun.

Large rock climbing and a memory is a post from: Paper Bridges, © 2005-2010 Monica Brand

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Homeschooling: A Family’s Journey by Gregory and Martine Millman is such a book. In the beginning, the authors describe how they left behind Catholic education to homeschool in New Jersey (yes, another plus for me: this is another New Jersey homeschooling family), how homeschooling works as a better way to educate our children and the failure of public education today. The book ends with a advice on college. Everything in between those chapters – how the Millmans taught at home, the heart of their journey as a homeschooling family.

I didn’t need any convincing to leave public education, yet I enjoyed reading these chapters. If you have a skeptical family member or spouse that has yet to get homeschooling, these chapters are recommended reading.

Then we have the testimony of how the Millman children learned, grew and thrived at home. The Millmans do various activities and call it school. Life (moving to a new house, tragedy, and the unpredictable nature of daily living) trumps what the outside world would call schoolish learning. I love it, love it. These chapters made my homeschooling mother’s heart sing.

They take on the label “unschoolers” and we all know how the media has been presenting these people in the news lately. I would love to see a follow up book by the authors touting the benefits of unschooling.

Two of the children go to the public high school but quickly return home. I love that story. Read it for yourself to find out why. This family loves to read, they have a party as each child joins that club of Reader. The authors discuss the benefits of traveling to foreign countries as learning.

The chapter about choosing a college is excellent. Another recommended reading.

What else? What else to gush about?

I wish I had the book here right now so I could pull quotes, but, alas, a homeschooling friend has it on loan. I’m sure you’re not surprised. This is the homeschooling book you want all of your friends and family to read. Here is my Amazon affiliate link if you are so inclined: Homeschooling: A Family’s Journey

Gotta run. Meeting up with friends. Maybe pictures later,

~ Monica

Edited to trackback to The Homeschool Village’s Mr. Linky. Homeschoolers, add your link regarding your favorite book about homeschooling or read what other homeschoolers recommend.

Question: What’s your favorite book about homeschooling? is a post from: Paper Bridges, © 2005-2010 Monica Brand

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From Books that Build Character (A Guide to Teaching Your Child Moral Values Through Stories) by William Kilpatrick and Gregory and Suzanne M. Wolfe:

If you’re a parent, you’ve got a battle on your hands — a battle with popular culture over your child’s imagination. And like every battle this one has moments when it seems impossible to carry on. But it’s not all grim, because one of the best ways of empowering your child’s imagination is also one of the most enjoyable. The books we’ve listed are stories of virtue and character, but they are many other things as well. Some of them are hilarious, some mysterious, some adventurous, some heart-breakingly poignant, some a combination of all of these.

As a mother and homeschooler, I’m  loving this book. From page 60 to 313, it’s lists of picture books, juvenile fiction, YA, fantasy and science fiction, biographies, fairy tales, historical and contemporary fiction, folktales, myths and legends – all with the indent to build into the moral lives of young readers. There is even a small list of sacred texts.

This is the kind of book you want to bring with you when it’s time to go book shopping.

The author’s summarize each book so you can do a quick preview. Good if you are unsure a book is a good match for your reader.

For more about teaching good values using great literature, especially to boys, visit the MOB society blog today.

Disclaimer: Yup, affiliate links. Yet this is a book I purchased, learned to love, and now want to spread the word, just one book-loving, homeschooling parent to another. Hope it helps your homeschooling adventure.

You had me at imagination is a post from: Paper Bridges, © 2005-2010 Monica Brand

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My children are 11, 10, 7 and 5 so we’re starting to move into the meatier subjects like Creation vs. Evolution, economics, theology and what makes good writing.  I expect to get good mileage with this list, lasting us into the teenage years.

These are the books I purchased:

Capitalism for Kids (Growing Up to be Your Own Boss) by Karl Hess

Creation or Evolution (A Home-Study Curriculum) by Mike Snavely

Writers Inc (A student Handbook for Writing and Learning) written and compiled by Patrick Sebranek, Verne Meyer, and Dave Kemper

I found Writers Inc in the used book sale for $1.00. A great buy and it was on my to-buy list.

Making Jesus Lord (The Dynamic Power of Laying Down Your Rights) by Loren Cunningham

Torches of Joy (A Stone Age Tribe’s Encounter with the Gospel) by John Dekker

. . . and this last one caught my eye because I did grow up in a Christian home. I need to read it for myself.

Growing Up Christian by Karl Graustein

The longer I homeschool, the more I see the importance of having good books at home that the kids can grab off the shelf as the inspiration strikes. I’ve seen this happen time and time again with a science book left out on the coffee table or history book nestled on the shelf.  I don’t need to assign the reading, it just happens. It can’t happen if you don’t have the books.

What books did you find at your homeschool convention this year?

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links that financially benefit the blogger. By making a purchase via an affiliate link, the blogger may receive monetary compensation.

Adding to my homeschool library is a post from: Paper Bridges, © 2005-2010 Monica Brand

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The 14 Days of Homeschool is a post from: Paper Bridges, © 2005-2010 Monica Brand

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Rutgers Faraday Christmas Children’s Lecture is a post from: Paper Bridges, © 2005-2010 Monica Brand

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From one homeschooling mom to another is a post from: Paper Bridges, © 2005-2010 Monica Brand

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