Paper Bridges » Thinking

I do my best thinking when I clean

Monica Brand — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 16:08:55 +0000

And my mind can go on auto pilot allowing the thought process to drift and dig deep. These are thoughts that came to the surface as I scrubbed the bathtub this morning:

Why am I the way that I am? What motivates me to think the way I do?

. . . when my grandfather gave my brother those extra quarters because “He’s the boy and older.”

. . . when the county parks department didn’t give me that job I wanted my Senior year to maintain hiking trails because they didn’t think a “girl would want it.”

. . . when a male peer called me a “feminist” at our college and Career fellowship meeting because I believed women could serve as pastors.

. . . when I prayed my first baby would be a girl, so she would have the experience to be the eldest sibling.

As I sit here now typing this, I realize why I started pondering these memories.

I was thinking why I read the books I chose to read, the books that motivate me to run to the keyboard and write. These books by women, for women, to encourage women, to strengthen women. I can see how my life experiences have shaped what I chose to read, what causes and charities make my heart beat a bit faster, and what types of women I befriend.

I don’t think for a minute that my life and what I’ve experienced as a girl or woman has been an accident. I believe it’s all part of a master plan, designed by a Master Creator, to use me right where I am, right now. As a woman.

And I’m thinking now I would never wish any of it away. Those times I felt anger, bitter or helpless – no longer part of me. I forgave a long time ago. I am thankful for a powerful God who gave me the ability to do so. Without Him, I’m not sure I’d be able to let the bitterness go.

I think about what I’ll be doing when my kids are grown and I’m no longer homeschooling, mothering so intensely. I wonder how it all will come together and the things I’ll find to do. How I will help.

I would never trade any of it for it makes me who I am.

~ Monica

Welcome, friends, visiting for Mingle Monday. I am glad you are here.

Yet more thoughts on contentment

Christians and their “acceptable” porn

Monica Brand — Thu, 13 May 2010 13:23:08 +0000

From the article:

I watched the pilot episode of Glee when it premiered a few months before the show was to begin airing regularly. It was decent enough to at least give some time to the next few episodes. But by the end of episode two, I was getting a little uneasy.

Read the rest at Relevant Magazine.

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The new Miley Cyrus. I’m not surprised.

Monica Brand — Thu, 06 May 2010 12:06:07 +0000

Yo, Moms. Just so you know:

Miley Cyrus is no longer age appropriate for your preteen daughter.

That didn’t take long.

Bummer.

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Are paper books dead?

Monica Brand — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 03:06:17 +0000

I do. I don’t know how long it will take. You know, we love stories and we love narrative; we love to get lost in an author’s world. That’s not going to go away; that’s going to thrive. But the physical book really has had a 500-year run. . . But no technology, not even one as elegant as the book, lasts forever.

That’s Amazon.com’s Jeff Bezos, mastermind behind that eReader gadget known as Kindle answering the question posed by Newsweek magazine: Do you think that the ink-on-paper book will eventually go away?

Now I ask you -

Will the traditional paper book cease to exist?

Is technology that powerful?

Are we so addicted to our electronics that the eBook will send the paper book into extinction?

And do we care?

image: scrapetv.com

Twilight, sex and the tween

Monica Brand — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 14:59:20 +0000

And now we come to what I believe is the most grievous problem with the Twilight series: the tween Twilight reader. The following is a real conversation I had with my 11 year old recently:

Susan: One of the girls in my class at church read Twilight.
Me: Hmmm. I see.
{Pause for dramatic affect}
Me: And how old is this girl?
Susan: I’m not sure. I think she’s ten.

Friends, Twilight is a YA novel. As in: Young Adult. Emphasis on the adult. The pre-teen reader is too young for the complex relationships, love triangles, make-out bedroom scenes, and Bella’s hot and heavy pursuit to bed her vampire boyfriend. Twilight is not for young kids.

I suspect my opinion is not the majority. Unfortunately, I think a lot of parents mistakenly believe that as long as their child is reading something, anything at all, then it’s better than nothing. We all want our kids to read. I get that. Remember how excited I was when Susan discovered the world of a page-turning novel? I love it that she loves to read.

But no way do I want her reading Twilight – or any other fiction with a heavy emphasis of sexual passion and pursuit – no matter how G-rated it is for a YA novel. And Twilight certainly is mild when it comes to those bedroom scenes. Twilight has nothing graphic that I can point to as evidence to say, “Ah-ha! See! Bella and Edward in bed with detailed description of fornication!!” No, there isn’t anything like that in the series.

And yet . . .

The problem isn’t so much what’s IN the book, it’s more who’s READING the book.

This is the problem with American culture; we expose our children too early to adult ideas, concepts they are not mature enough to handle. It’s in the music, television, movies, advertising, Internet, and books. Human anatomy and biology is fine, I’ve no problem with teaching our children how their bodies work, babies made. My concern is for the young reader being exposed to sexual desire, sexual passion. These are concepts our tweens need to hold off on until more mature.

Answer me this question: Why the rush to end childhood innocence?

Think about what the tween – the 9, 10, 11 and 12 year olds – are reading, and thinking about, if they read the Twilight series.

Bella’s continuous attempts to bed Edward – what does that teach the tween about dating relationships and sex?

What about Bella’s poor self-esteem?

And I shudder at the tween reading these books without any parental input. Bella is a horrible example for an impressionable tween girl.

What say you? Do you agree with my conclusions or am I way off the mark? Let’s discuss.

Up next: Final Twilight thoughts

For discussion: Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer

Monica Brand — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 02:05:14 +0000

So. I’ve read the Twilight books.

I liked the writing, the story is interesting, totally unbelievable for reality, so it’s fun to lose yourself in the plot. I was surprised to find myself enjoying the vampire family, probably because they don’t really act like your typical, scary vampires. I was able to anticipate where parts of the story were going, and was completely taken by surprise in other places.Quick reads, these books.

As you know, I was reading Twilight to answer the questions: What does the Twilight series teach young people about sex and purity? Do the books promote godly behavior? I’m going to answer that question, and address other issues that pertain to the Twilight series, in several posts over the coming week. If you have read the series, or are a parent concerned about what our young people may learn from Bella and Edward, I hope you will join in the discussion.

Up next: The problem with Bella

Blog book tour: A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller

Monica Brand — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 01:06:42 +0000

If you haven’t figured it out by now, let me clue you in: I tend to do these book reviews a little differently. I’m not much for saying if a book is good or bad and why. I do go with that traditional approach occasionally; especially if I have issues with a title. I much prefer to write about how a book has affected me, how it makes me think (or perhaps not think.)

That’s the beauty of A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life by Donald Miller. It’s a book slap in the side of the head to challenge my thinking.

Ouch! That hurts. Ouch! That hurts. Slap. Oh, man. No pain, no gain, right?

Oh, how I wish you we could dialog about it together just like in a real book club!

This is the sort of book you want to re-read once a year just so you can get the kick-in-the-pants feeling that comes with it. I didn’t get Donald Miller when I first read him. Then I tried again. Brilliant move on my part, because I so enjoyed Through Painted Deserts. A Million Miles in a Thousand Years is about…

Right. I’m not much for that. Must know? Go over to Amazon. The only thing you need to know from me is two words:

Book slap.

Ouch.

Go read it. And come back here to engage me in conversation.

What if…

Monica Brand — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 15:19:30 +0000

You lost IT all.

And by IT, I mean everything you physically hold dear. Your house, your car, laptop, clothes, all you have in your closet, attic or squirreled away under your bed. All those books you’ve collected, treasuring for years, keeping to re-read someday and pass onto grown children – gone, lost, never to be replaced. What about all the photos, scrapbooks and journals? What if they were gone too?

How would it change you?

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To thrive again at home

Monica Brand — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 16:44:06 +0000

It’s been a long time since I’ve written about how our home schooling has been progressing and it’s not for lack of want or what to say. I’ve lots to say, it’s just that most of it would be rants and complains and much whining. Who wants to read the blog of an angry home schooling mom?

For the past several years, teaching hasn’t made for a happy home life, especially when it comes to instructing my boys. I’ve been reduced to yelling, threatening, and pleading with them to do a math paper or reading lesson. That’s a difficult confession to admit, but it’s part of our story, and I will not edit out my mistakes to make me appear like I have this home school mom gig figured out.

Needless to say, when it comes to a traditional school work approach with pencil and paper, it’s been an unhappy home, with unhappy kids, and unhappy mom. An unhappy home school.

But I’m a fighter. I’m not giving up home schooling.

If I didn’t believe in the importance of keeping my kids home with me, I would’ve put them in public school years ago. This stubbornness must be part God-given determination to succeed, part Irish heritage. The freedom to do as we want, when we want, with no one outside our family influencing our schedule is a lifestyle I will not let go. These four belong home with me. We are a home schooling family. As imperfect as we are, we were created to be together, so together we will stay.

But change must come.

At this moment in our home schooling journey, I don’t have the hearts of my children. The list of subjects to have conquered at the end of the day became more important than love, joy, gentleness and patience. We started on a good path, but I got distracted by less important things like reading by a certain age and math facts. The point of home schooling is not about the college they attend or the career they chose or if they make a lot of money. Success means my children chose to walk in The Way, with Jesus Christ and in relationship with Him. Knowing Jesus has nothing to do with multiplication tables.

When I first started this journey five years ago, I never imagined home schooling would force me to deal with my own sins.

For our survival as a home schooling family, to thrive again as we once did, my approach to teaching must change. I’m forced to find a new way, one that is a better fit with the personality of my kids.

Change. Specifically, someone must change. Lord knows, I’ve tried changing all the little people around here. Lucky me. I best do the changing.

So.

I’ve been reading, searching the Internet, asking the Lord for answers and guidance. We are told to pray about everything and to ask the Lord for wisdom. I believe He is answering. I’ve found like-minded folks here on the Web that are inspiring me to rethink everything I thought before about how to home educate. Thanks be to God, it’s not too late to change hearts and correct course.

More to come: how I’m being led, what works and what doesn’t and why, and how it’s radically going to change my approach to this home schooling life. Stay tuned.

How to survive your homeschool convention

Yet more thoughts on contentment

Monica Brand — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 17:20:49 +0000

Thanks for the encouraging words this week, friends. It’s nice fantastic that so many of you would miss my contribution to the blogosphere if I were to drop out. Thank you.

I’ve been thinking more about it and here’s what I’ve come up with: my problem isn’t blog influence, it’s me and mothering (Or mothering and I? Umm. Not sure.)

My youngest daughter has a friend who calls me, “Lucy’s mommy.” Never Mrs. Brand or Mrs. B like I tell her to when she comes to play. It was cute at first, very preschooler speak, but the more it continues, the more it makes me want to grind my teeth. Future play dates hang in the balance because of it.

Why does it irritate me so much to be labeled by an innocent 4-year-old?

Then there was the time our Pastor referred to a woman like me as a housewife.

Again: why am I so freaked out by another label given with the best intentions.

I don’t write much here about my previous life, my existence before kiddos and homeschooling. BC (Before Children), I was a newspaper reporter and traveled to the other side of the world. I met a slew of interesting people. Nowadays, I hang out with all these people much shorter than I who all require various degrees of daily care.

Patience, Monica. They are only young for a moment, really. Then they are grown and gone.

I know it.

My head does anyway.

My heart?

Guess not.