As a home schooling mom, I know my weaknesses. I’m far from that do-it-all woman who seems to glide through life with ease. I’m unorganized. I get mad, lashing out in anger. Home schooling revealed that in me. I know a lot about learning styles, curriculum and how to teach phonics, but I find I’m teaching myself about me more than any other subject.

I’m also learning a lot about mercy, something I thought I had a good grasp on before becoming a mother.

As a Christ follower, I’ve experienced mercy. I sin. And then I run to Jesus. Amazingly, mercy never runs dry. There is no drought when it comes to the mercy of God. I can define mercy as unearned love and forgiveness, getting love and acceptance instead of judgment and rejection. So I thought I understood.

Now as a mother surrounded by imperfect children daily, I see how much more there is know: how to give mercy freely; it’s importance in raising and leading children. How my children need it. And me too.

This unorganized, non-domestic, fiery-tempered home schooling mommy craves mercy. I need it from the Lord, my husband, my kids and from those in the home schooling community.

I’ve been home schooling long enough to have a wide experience with various homeschooling moms, and from what I can see, there is not much mercy for a woman like me, one of the muddled ones. My sister in Christ, and like-minded home schooling mom, she can be harsh. Legalistic, even. She doesn’t give much room for error. The believer mom who juggles it all with a smile, never missing a deadline, never forgetting to do that little thing that I’m so good at letting get buried under a paper mountain on my desk.

I bet I drive her nuts.

I pray to Jesus, “I screwed up. I’m sorry.”

I say to my kids, “Mom screwed up. I’m sorry. Can you forget my mistake?”

Will you show me mercy?

And this is what I want to say to my home schooling mother acquaintances, these women in my life that will not bend, refusing to overlook my personality quirks.

I screwed up. I’m sorry.

Will you show me mercy?