Tag Archives: friendship

Update on my friend

Posted on by
8

All is well. I think.

Last night I had a chance to talk with my lovely friend. No, I didn’t’ have to drive up to her place to track her down like I thought I would have to do. Found her at our Wednesday church night.

I can’t remember the last time I was so excited to see anyone. It’s been ages since she’s been out to church during the week.

We talked. The first words out of my mouth: I love you. And I didn’t have to say any of the things I rehearsed in my head because she beat me to it. So no heated conversation, no denial, no anger. All tears happy ones.

This whole situation could have gotten ugly fast so I feel like I dodged a relationship-killing bullet with such a good outcome. But keep praying if you think of her. I know I will be. She knows she can’t drink, wants to stop this mistake before it turns into a mountain, yet the stresses remain in her life. I told her to call me or just show up at my house anytime, for whatever reason. She’s a grown up and I can’t put her in a time out, right?

She’s okay, but needs more healing and strength.

Thanks to everyone who offered advice.

I have a friend

Posted on by
11

She’s drinking.

Again.

And she shouldn’t be. She can’t.

Alcohol is her Kyptonite and she’s going to self destruct. Her marriage, her kids, homeschooling. Her faith. It can’t stand up to this burden. Already she is slipping away from me. Won’t call. Won’t message back on Facebook. Church attendance? Near zilch.

I’m part mad, part crushed. I love her. I want her to walk in victory, florish in her mothering, walk with Him, enjoying all the gifts she has to offer our community.

And you know what? I’m tired of watching people I care about – those believers I count on being there – fade away, overcome by the trappings of the world, falling prey to the wolves seeking to devour.

What should I do?

Does anyone have any advice for me? Should I confront her? Let her family handle it. Just let her go it alone.

Please don’t tell me to pray. I am praying. Like I said, I’m tired of watching friends self destruct.

Anyone?

If I was your true friend

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7

I’d be asking you those tough questions. You already know the questions. The ones that we ponder in our hearts and we want so desperately to ask, but we are afraid of hurt feelings or overstepping into that private place that says Do Not Enter or Keep Out. These are the most important questions, yet we hesitate. I am guilty of remaining silent far too often only because I fear the response. Those sign posts again.

If I was your true friend, then I would ask you:

How is your spiritual life?

Are you praying? Reading your Bible?

How can I pray for you today?

What are your struggles? Hopes? Dreams?

Past friendships never heard me ask those questions, when I knew I was supposed to ask them. Now I see these women struggling, drifting away, falling into a place I’m sure they never dreamed they would go. I stand at the shoreline of our friendship and they have drifted so far away. I wonder if they are happy. I am not happy for them.

Slowly I am learning to cast aside the fear, to speak up. To run after another crying girlfriend who just walked out the church door.

If we were friends away from the confinements of this cyberworld, then I would be having you here for dinner or coffee. I’d have your kids play with my kids, especially on a day when you needed a break because raising kids, especially if you homeschool and are with your kids more than usual, is exhausting work. Our husbands could hang out by the grill, we ladies would no doubt be in the kitchen. I’ll wash, if you dry. We would laugh together, cry together.

I hope you would answer the tough, difficult questions with honesty because if we are truly friends, then we shouldn’t have to fear.