Posts tagged ‘me’

Finding time to read

By Monica Brand, 10 February, 2010, 8 Comments

Home schooling.

House keeping.

Church commitments.

Blogging.

Email, Facebook, Twitter, Ning groups, LOST (yeah! it’s back.)

With all of these good (and maybe not so good) things to do and occupy our time, how do you find the time and energy to read?

Seriously! I want to know. Because I’m having a hard time keeping up.

I remember back to my lazy college days of when I had an abundance of free time to just ignore the outside world and do nothing but read to my heart’s content. O, the amount of pages I could fly through! Of course, back then I was without household to manage, sans children and husband. I had oodles of free-reading time.

Life was lazy from one wonderful book to the next. Now, not so much.

My to-be-read book pile gets larger. My heart wants to read more. Yet daily life. . . and I like reading blogs, Twitter, and my love for LOST.

So.

How do you fit it all in? All the books, yet still manage to life a balanced life?

In these last hours of 2009

By Monica Brand, 31 December, 2009, 3 Comments

I’m writing down my goals for the new year.

Goals are good. I like goals. No, not soccer goals, although those are nifty too. I speak of those promises we make to ourselves, sending them out into the universe, like I am right now with this lofty blog post, or hold them close, like a secret.

Without an end in mind we are destined to stumble throughout life without purpose or direction. Unless you are great at last minute decisions (I’m not), have enormous luck (don’t believe in it), or could care less about how your life turns out (are you dead or lazy?), you need goals.

My goals for the year 2010:

1. In reading:

More books, magazines and newspapers of good quality that can stretch me, get me thinking. Thinking is always good too. I happen to be a big fan of thinking. I’m joining a few online book challenges this year (more about that in the next few days.)

I’d like to start reading news magazines again – I used to absorb news magazines. This was before I had babies, otherwise known as When I Had Free Time. It’s taken me a long time to realize I miss those magazines. I won’t be subscribing, just reading what I can online or at the library or what I can beg, borrow or steal from friends. That might be another good goal for the coming year: find friends without kids that have free time to subscribe to news magazines.

2. In home education:

I’d like to see both boys flourish in their reading confidence. Actually, I’m sure this is the year both boys – 10 and fast approaching 8 – will come into their own with reading skills. (Please, Lord, make it so!) Adding to our home school reference library is another desire. Music, audio books, more how-to-manuals.

3. For spiritual life:

To attend our church’s womens’ retreat in June. Can you believe I’ve only attended one retreat in my entire adult life? My husband has attended at least 5,000 five. To memorize more scripture. To not let anything else crowd out that hunger for the things of God. To not view prayer or Bible reading as a chore required to make me a better believer; I never want to make studying just another item on my to-do list.

4. Of personal nature:

This is going to be tough – less Twitter, Facebook, and message boards. If I’m going read more books and news, I’ve got to make time for it. Blogging will continue when I have something of interest to share. I had a nice exercise routine of three times a week last summer; I need to resume that schedule. Still working on the patience. Could use more of that attribute. What mother can’t?

This is the part when I try to convince myself this list is easy. On January 1 all these grand ideas look easy, but by February or March. . . old habits, old self wants to win the day. I’ve made a few of these goals before 2010.

Perhaps this is the year, this is the time to make it happen.

By God’s grace.

Coffee and kayaking

By Monica Brand, 21 July, 2009, No Comment

You know how I love coffee. You may not know it’s a dream of mine to own a kayak. This guy has combined coffee and kayak, capturing it on lovely video.

Focus elsewhere

By Monica Brand, 11 July, 2009, No Comment

Not a break from blogkeeping, just social media. Have fun in the Land of Constant Communication. I’ll be back…

Yet more thoughts on contentment

By Monica Brand, 11 June, 2009, No Comment

Thanks for the encouraging words this week, friends. It’s nice fantastic that so many of you would miss my contribution to the blogosphere if I were to drop out. Thank you.

I’ve been thinking more about it and here’s what I’ve come up with: my problem isn’t blog influence, it’s me and mothering (Or mothering and I? Umm. Not sure.)

My youngest daughter has a friend who calls me, “Lucy’s mommy.” Never Mrs. Brand or Mrs. B like I tell her to when she comes to play. It was cute at first, very preschooler speak, but the more it continues, the more it makes me want to grind my teeth. Future play dates hang in the balance because of it.

Why does it irritate me so much to be labeled by an innocent 4-year-old?

Then there was the time our Pastor referred to a woman like me as a housewife.

Again: why am I so freaked out by another label given with the best intentions.

I don’t write much here about my previous life, my existence before kiddos and homeschooling. BC (Before Children), I was a newspaper reporter and traveled to the other side of the world. I met a slew of interesting people. Nowadays, I hang out with all these people much shorter than I who all require various degrees of daily care.

Patience, Monica. They are only young for a moment, really. Then they are grown and gone.

I know it.

My head does anyway.

My heart?

Guess not.

Surfing contentment: confessions of a Christian mommyblogger

By Monica Brand, 5 June, 2009, 3 Comments

I keep trying to write this post explaining my thoughts about why I would consider deleting the past four years, but it’s been so difficult not to not sound like a whiner. Let me see if I can do this without the Internal Editor.

Contentment. I’m not too good with all the verses telling us to be content with where we are, with what we have, who we are. I feel like I’m on a cyber surfboard on my little blogging wave. I’m doing okay. I’m in the water, the sun warm on my skin, the water salty on my lips. The surfboard so familiar to me now as I’ve been at this blogging gig for so long. My balance is good, it’s a nice rhythm.

But then I take my concentration off my own modest sized wave and look to the other surfers around me – their waves are so much bigger than mine. They are faster, bigger. People on the shoreline are impressed, clapping, pointing to her. I think to myself: Cool. I want to try riding those big waves.

Do you see where I’m going with this?

Contentment.

I’m just a mom. One step further in – I’m a homeschooling mom. My wave is scattered with a tween, a preschooler and two inbetween. It’s a day full of little people.

That mom over there on that other wave, she might have her kids in school or they’re older than mine or she only has one. Her wave is hers. That’s her blog. My wave, for what it is, a mix of family stories, homeschool reference points, book lust or just cyber goofiness, is mine.

But dang it, friends, I sure do want to catch that other wave. All those “Hey, Lord, what about me?” prayers.

So that’s where I am: struggling to learn contentment – seriously, I don’t think I’ve ever been good at it, even before blogkeeping.

***

Okay, I just reviewed what I wrote and this is the way I feel. I’m writing in my journal, that three ring notebook I keep next to the bed so I dont’ have to get out of bed to record thoughts (often, it’s the only quiet place in the house.) After breakfast… no, tween Susan cooked breakfast muffins, all I have to do is tidy up. After that, I’m going to type this up, tweak the paragraphs, and punctuation, but I’m not going to touch one word of it in order to save face. I may change the title. Right now it’s Confessions of a Christina Mommyblogger, but that sounds too sexy. Maybe some nod to surfing or contentment. Not sure yet.

So now you know why I questioned Monday as to the future survival of this blog. I don’t want to delete Paper Bridges. I want to write, post videos of my kids doing kidly things and continue to be me. But me better – content with what the Lord has given me.

Okay that’s all for now.