Tag Archives: things I want to remember

I do my best thinking when I clean

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And my mind can go on auto pilot allowing the thought process to drift and dig deep. These are thoughts that came to the surface as I scrubbed the bathtub this morning:

Why am I the way that I am? What motivates me to think the way I do?

. . . when my grandfather gave my brother those extra quarters because “He’s the boy and older.”

. . . when the county parks department didn’t give me that job I wanted my Senior year to maintain hiking trails because they didn’t think a “girl would want it.”

. . . when a male peer called me a “feminist” at our college and Career fellowship meeting because I believed women could serve as pastors.

. . . when I prayed my first baby would be a girl, so she would have the experience to be the eldest sibling.

As I sit here now typing this, I realize why I started pondering these memories.

I was thinking why I read the books I chose to read, the books that motivate me to run to the keyboard and write. These books by women, for women, to encourage women, to strengthen women. I can see how my life experiences have shaped what I chose to read, what causes and charities make my heart beat a bit faster, and what types of women I befriend.

I don’t think for a minute that my life and what I’ve experienced as a girl or woman has been an accident. I believe it’s all part of a master plan, designed by a Master Creator, to use me right where I am, right now. As a woman.

And I’m thinking now I would never wish any of it away. Those times I felt anger, bitter or helpless – no longer part of me. I forgave a long time ago. I am thankful for a powerful God who gave me the ability to do so. Without Him, I’m not sure I’d be able to let the bitterness go.

I think about what I’ll be doing when my kids are grown and I’m no longer homeschooling, mothering so intensely. I wonder how it all will come together and the things I’ll find to do. How I will help.

I would never trade any of it for it makes me who I am.

~ Monica

Welcome, friends, visiting for Mingle Monday. I am glad you are here.

4H fair: summer 2009

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the girlie and I

Once again we have conquered the 4H fair and all it’s dust, heat and all-around summery goodness. It was much like last year, except now, we have a personal interest with Susan’s club, Sew, Bake and Bloom. It’s a club for those interested in sewing, baking and gardening. Like, duh, Monica.

There is much to remember here, but I’ve been unmotivated to write. The summer is almost over and yet it feels like it’s finally begun. Too much rain!

A pause button on life would be welcome right now.

eating ice cream

Quickly, Fair Thoughts. Because if I don’t jot them down, I know 20 years from now I’ll wonder what it is I can’t remember:

1. We love the food. Funnel cake ($5 each!), ice cream, cotton candy.

2. We love the rides. Merry-go-round and that “fake car” ride for Lucy. She kept running back and forth between the two. Big kids getting into the faster rides now. The fair is small enough to let the three of them go free-range. Niiiice.

3. When it rains the night before, all the straw in the world won’t keep the mud at bay. Wear old shoes or boots next time. Remind myself kids are washable.

4. When it rains the night before, beware parking in the field. Van not too keen on thick mud.

5. When it rains the night before, having Uncle John with us helps tremendously when the van gets stuck. He’s great at preventing further emotional meltdowns. (Don’t mention Susan’s tearfest here; she won’t like it. Write about my own frustration.)

6. A beautiful summer Sunday is no guarantee the fair will be a popular place to be. Where were all the kids? The teens? Moms and Dads and grandparents? The fair grounds not at all well populated. Sad. Will the fair survive or is it a dying tradition?

funnel cake - worth every penny

Goodbye, 4H fair! See you next summer….